Morgan Freeman was born in 1937. He narrated his own birth saying, leaving the warm comfort of his mother’s womb: I, Morgan Freeman enter the world. Soon I will make my first poop — one of many in the life of Morgan Freeman.
The first time that Morgan Freeman saw himself crying in the mirror he became old and he remained that way his whole life. From then on every time that Morgan Freeman cried it rained — in heaven. When Morgan Freeman makes a documentary film he narrates it first and then nature makes it so.
The only reason that the Sun rises each day is because Morgan Freeman narrated that sunrise in his dreams the night before.
The only reason that you’re alive right now is because Morgan Freeman is narrating your life as he does for billions and billions of others each day. And when you have a bout of diarrhea Morgan Freeman narrates it so that you appear noble, at the mercy of nature — and a taco.
Morgan Freeman goes through four or five microphones a day because his voice turns them into bars of gold which he uses to fund his quest to create a real Santa Claus.
Morgan Freeman cannot be cloned because that would require unicorn tears.
Morgan Freeman doesn’t have sex. When he smiles, a baby simply appears in a field full of kittens.
Earthquakes are merely Mother Nature having an orgasm when she listens to March of the Penguins. Penguins didn’t exist until Morgan Freeman made that movie — he’s that good.
If you’re having a rough day think about Morgan Freeman, because he’s certainly thinking about you. Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman Morgan Freeman
